What will you do with your one wild & precious life?
I know that I have not blogged for years. I am going to try again, if nothing else for myself. Perhaps the words I write for myself are also meant for someone else, it is my hope that the words written here will touch a heart somewhere out there. Because God knows, he knows what we need to read and when. Therefore, I will go forth with love & conquer all fear of putting my words out for the world to see.
That being said, what will you do with your one wild and precious life? What are you doing to fulfill your dreams and grow as a person? For awhile I was just floating, not knowing what I wanted or what I didn't want. Just being, but not living. I let the darkness pull me under and I spent most of the winter alone, hiding in my bed. I would come home from work and just lay in the darkness until night and then I would sleep or lay awake with troubled thoughts. As if somehow, I could get away from my life if I just hid out and didn't face it head on. Winter is my worst season, it brings out the darkness in my soul and turns me into someone I don't want to be. Yeah, those were long months. I had no direction, no ambition, just dreaded routine and a black hole that my life was draining down.
Spring came. Because it always does, it never fails. The sun comes back out and life begins grow from the musty earth. Likewise, I climbed my way out of that ugly black hole. About this time I began to contemplate: what am I doing? Why am I wasting this one life that I have? Last fall I started working at a school as a Special Ed Para. I grew to love the students I worked with, I began to realize that we all have a calling and I had found mine. Still I let fear hold me back. The idea of going back to school crossed my mind a few times, but I dismissed it almost immediately. My co-workers would make passing comments about how I should become a certified teacher, but I would shrug them off because I doubted my self worth. One day in the spring a co-worker sent a link about the teaching program at the local college and it was a sign from above. It was now or never. I wasn't getting any younger and I knew I had found my passion. I had to face my fears.
Therefore, I took a leap of faith and applied for school. With overwhelming support from my family and friends I did what it took to get into college again. This summer I completed my first semester, putting me on my way to a degree so I can have my own classroom. When you find your gift, you have to move forward so you can use it. Even if it means going into the unknown and conquering all self doubt.
Sometimes the days start turning gray and I see that blackness closing in. Yet once again I turn my face to the sun & think of all the people who believe in me. I know then, that I must move forward without fear. "Be strong and of a good courage. Be not afraid. For the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest." That verse is my anthem, a daily reminder for me to go forth and have courage to live my one wild & precious life.
That is my story, that is how I came to be where I am right now. Finding my way, slowly, becoming the woman I want to be. So dear friend, What are you doing with your one wild and precious life?